Emerging Adulthood
Emerging Adulthood is a friendlier way of saying the often used term, Failure to Launch. It is also known as Arrested Development, Peter Pan Syndrome, or Boomerang Generation.. It’s also been called extended dependence, adulting dependence, adulting overwhelm, inhibited autonomy, and life progression challenged.
Why does this happen?
Life is harder than ever
You can’t make lemonade if all life throws is lemons and no sugar. Being a young adult in a world that is more uncertain than ever feels hopeless. This may lead to a loss of identity, lowered confidence and for some a feeling of “nothing is going to get better no matter what I do.”
Bite off more than we can chew
The prefrontal cortex in the brain doesn’t stop maturing until mid 20’s, the part that plans out our future and decision making. Simply said, many of us after high school starting school or careers for the first time end in failure.
A false start doesn’t mean you can’t start again. With the right tools targeting executive function skills and professional support, you can be better prepared.
Dealing with life poorly
Coping skills are the everyday things we do and use to help us deal with stressors. The problem is that some can become unhealthy for us and can even be addictive. Not saying all coping skills are bad, but it does depend on how we are using them. Replacement for relationships with others, isolation, and wasting time are by products of dysfunctional behavioral patterns.
“A ship is safest in the harbor, but that is not what ships are made for”
You see your friends you grew up with passing you up in life with a house, marriage and a job they seem to love. You’ve tried school and maybe you were put on academic probation, or had trouble fitting in. You’ve also tried finding your own passion that will lead to success, but it’s just not paying the bills or you’re having a hard time keeping work. Maybe you’ve begun to just give up and hope time will make it better or replaced your life dreams with things that make you feel better now.
This is more than just the advice you hear from others to just get out there and do your best. Yeah, like that was going to fix everything. Life is hard, and when you’ve run into failures or roadblocks it starts to lower our aim on our prize of being happy and successful.
I provide a unique blend of counseling and mentoring to support you in moving forward to the life you want. We’ll look at what’s holding you back, make a plan to take steps that make sense, and look towards the future you want.
This is not the place to push you into what your parents want but to find out who you are, what you want out of life, and how to get you there.
“A bird in a nest is secure, but that is not why God gave it wings.”
― Matshona Dhliwayo
Message to parents/loved ones
It is very common that instead of the young adult reaching out, the work begins with the parents reaching out and later working with your child.
You wonder where you might have gone wrong, whether you didn’t do something or even worse did do something that created this issue. You’ve tried multiple forms of encouragement, incentives, and patience. Maybe you’re wondering when am I going to get my basement back or my own independence.
We will identify where we need to start, whether it’s career indecisiveness, lack of skills, mental health concerns or a combination. We’ll develop a plan to target the needs as a family first, and will walk through the plan step by step.
You’re not alone in this, and you’ll have a professional to help you along the way.
